


Don't ever leave Me

by FujoshiForBrownies



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 16:19:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11535909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FujoshiForBrownies/pseuds/FujoshiForBrownies
Summary: Ciel has been battling his inner demons for a while. Even an all powerful Earl can break....right?*oneshot*





	Don't ever leave Me

The smell of hot tea wafted across the corridors, and Ciel raised his head, waking up slowly from his brief doze on his paper-strewn desk. One dark blue eye fluttered open slowly, the other invisible beneath his eyepatch. The eye that held the covenant burned slightly as Ciel's thoughts whirled in his mind, only suppressed while he was asleep. Now that Ciel was awake, there was one thing he couldn't quite shake, and it was worrying him. Before his mind could fully delve into the insanity that he had been dealing with quietly by himself for the past week, there was a knock on the  
cherrywood door, and Ciel decided to acknowledge the butler instead of his  
exhausted mind right now.

“Hello, Sebastian…” there was a pause, an unnerving silence, as Sebastian was momentarily startled by the Earl’s greeting. Never before had Ciel greeted him by name; not even when he was sick. Ciel summoned him by name, though it was unnecessary. Simply revealing the covenant and stating his demand was enough, but for some reason Ciel attached the demon’s name at  
the end, and Sebastian had grown accustomed to hearing the last bit of  
confirmation at the end. “Come in….”

Sebastian adopted his trademark smile, pushing open the unlocked door with ease. He could have easily walked in without asking - being a demon, he could undo locks - but he had been trained to ask for permission first. That was one of the many things Ciel had taught Sebastian when he had restored the manor back to it's original state, to ask before entering a room. Specifically, Ciel’s room. Wheeling the cart in front of him, the smell of cinnamon tea - it was a week before Christmas-time, Ciel's tired brain remembered - filled the room, rousing Ciel to attention. If he had  
been awake now, he was even more so at the moment.

“Afternoon, my Lord.” Sebastian greeted Ciel as he brought the cart  
parallel to the Earl’s desk, noting how Ciel’s eye roved over it's Christmas themed contents - gingerbread cookies and a fruit pudding. Ciel  
smiled faintly with a shrug of his shoulders as he remembered the first  
time Sebastian had made a currant pudding for him. It seemed like so long ago, when it was really only five months ago. Everything, Ciel thought as his shoulders drooped, suddenly seemed it like had happened ages ago. He was exhausted despite his impromptu nap on his desk. 

“Perhaps a break in your studies is in order?” Sebastian asked as he poured the tea, a side of his mouth lifting up in a wry smile at the ink smudges and stains on Ciel's  
cheek and the crumpled papers on the desk from where his head had been resting. “After all, you have a few hours before Lady Eliza-”

Ciel cut Sebastian with a wave of his hand, his eyes downcast as if he was  
thinking about something. Sebastian wasn't surprised at this, for he had  
known Ciel’s utter dislike for his fiance. Sebastian had seen it himself  
how the Earl felt about the young marquess. Sebastian finished pouring the tea and placed it on Ciel’s desk, steam still rising from the lip of the cup. Ciel ignored it, though he could feel his stomach grumble at the promise of the delicious and piping hot tea. Standing, he walked over to the window, casting his one eyed glance to the grounds outside as he watched Finnian trim the weeds from his garden. His gaze, however, was far from the normal calm one might feel from looking at the scenery. His gaze was serious, his jaw clenched like he was frustrated with himself.

"Sebastian." Ciel addressed the butler for the second time, keeping his careful gaze focused outside the window despite the thoughts that rushed through his head. What he had been dealing with for the past few weeks had taken root in his mind, now as much a part of his daily thoughts and actions as Sebastian was. He was desperate for a way out of this cycle of thoughts he had been enduring this whole time. From one thought to another his mind raced at a breakneck speed, all things that Ciel - when he was alone - called his demons. Of course, being the serious Earl he was, Ciel had never told anyone about this depression that had been threatening to take him over. "Close the door behind you. I'd like to speak with you..."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow, startled for the second time by Ciel. Nonetheless, Sebastian was never one to disobey a direct order and he walked over to the door, shutting it behind him. The moment he did, however, he was met by a muffled thump as Ciel rested his head against the wall. Turning, Sebastian opened his mouth to assure himself that the Earl was okay. Ciel had been acting out of character all day, Sebastian realized.

"Sebastian....tell me again the rules of our contract?" Ciel asked, trying not to clench his teeth - he knew he had a bad habit of doing so and wanted to stop - but nonetheless he could feel the fugitive ache in his teeth and the pads of his fingers in his palms as his hands followed suit, curling slowly into fists as his patience and self control wore down to a thin strand. Right now despite his independence and willpower, Ciel was desperate for a hug. And not just from anyone, either. He wanted a hug from Sebastian, the only person - even though he wasn't human - that Ciel felt he could trust. 

"My lord, may I ask why?" Sebastian inquired as he reached out to grab the now cold cinnamon tea, pouring the unused tea back into the kettle. He could warm it up later, but right now his mind and attention was on Ciel. "Our contract holds as al-"

"I just want to...know." Ciel admitted in a tight, broken voice as he reached up to pull the eyepatch off of his lavender left eye. Unconsciously stressing the last word as tears threatened to flow out of his eyes. The covenant glowed dully as Ciel kept his head on the wall, actually enjoying the cool feeling of it on his forehead. So many things had happened lately, and Ciel was close to his breaking point. He just wanted this one question answered. "That's an order."

"Young Master....?" Now Sebastian knew something was wrong, and he wasn't about to let this go. Ciel never asked about the contract - at least not in this way. "What is bothering you?..." Sebastian walked forward, intent on comforting his Master when Ciel stiffened. 

"Please tell me Sebastian!" Ciel cried out as the tears finally fell from his eyes, his body shaking as he released some of his stress. It was nowhere near the full whole of his stress and frustration, but it was enough to keep the pain and demons away inside his mind....for a little while. Though now the release of his tears made him want the hug even more now, and Ciel found himself wrapping his arms around himself as soft sobs left his body. He couldn't keep doing this - acting like everything was okay when he knew it really wasn't. He was a thirteen year old who had witnessed the gruesome death of his parents, lived in constant fear of his own death, and had promised his soul to the devil. Was anything really okay?

"My lord..." Sebastian started hesitatingly, then began to recite the speech he knew from memory. "Our contract binds you to me. What you have wished of me - in this case, to exact your revenge - I will carry out in promise of your soul when the contract e-"

"What if I die before the contract ends, Sebastian?" Ciel asked. Though this time his voice wasn't quite as broken or loud - in fact he sounded young and innocent. Like a child. Like he was scared. A strange emotion rose up in Sebastian's throat, nearly choking him. Ciel was afraid of dying. Of course.....Ciel lived every day in constant fear of dying, worrying that his infallible butler would one day not be by his side when he needed him. 

"My lord.....I promise to keep you safe and protected from harm do I not?" 

"T-that's not enough!" Ciel blurted out, then fell to his knees, hitting his head against the lip of the window harshly. "Ouch...." it was rare for Ciel to call out in pain. Normally, he would ignore the pain, but this wasn't normal. He was broken and beaten and plain out exhausted from dealing with his mental turmoil. He wanted it to end. "Sebastian .."

That was enough to crack the butler, and he rushed forward, crushing his Master up in a hug only he could do. Soft whimpers escaped Ciel as he wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck tightly, trying to get as close as he can to his demon butler.

"My word is my promise, my lord....

....and I promise to always stay with you."

~end.


End file.
